America

America,
Dives into amber waves, taking cover.
Hold tight to little ones' hands,
Pushing the images back,
Haunting the hearts of every father and mother.

America,
Ever in thoughts and prayers of those who are blessed.
They will not see the targets
They've painted on innocent chests
From inside the money-lined pockets of bullet-proof vests.

Heed now the children's cries.
From sea to shining sea
These battle-worn children will rise,
And bring Goliath to his knees.

With the courage to stand 
For the ones they had to see fall.
If they lead the way to tomorrow,
Then there's hope for us all.

America,
Hijacked the present from the future nation.
Bowed to the altar of profit
Pillaged the withering planet,
Thumbed their noses at science and education.

But America is still alive.
And America can count way past 45.
And grand old plugged ears will startle at the shout,
When the crowd marches in and votes the villains out.

The Smoke Clears

Orange sun lights gray sky.
Eyes are stung and lungs are tight.
Without warning, dark cloud hangs,
Interrupting complacent days
As the gloom engulfs your eyes,
A knock reveals a hint of bright blue sky.

When the smoke clears,
A long lost song plays in your ears.
Fell to knees, then
She helps you to your feet again.

 And carried on the breeze
The exhale of the trees…
Take a fresh breath in.

Never underestimate
The power of the little things.
The slightest nudge jumpstarts the lungs,
Flips major the minor whistling
 Makes you see the lifting smoke
Unveiling the new beginning.

Julie Aguas

Dr. Sunbeam

I'm calling Dr. Sunbeam, can he turn this thing around?
Or is this just another well for me to throw my pennies down?
Tear up the poison scripts that those before him wrote.
He is now the king of each happy anecdote.

He harnesses nature to heal from within.
Can Dr. Sunbeam put us together again?

He's cooking a brew and I don't have a clue about what's going in.
You'd be surprised what you try when you find that you’ve tried everything.

This time will I take from the oil of a snake or can it possibly be,
That he is the man with the answer to all that's been ailing me?

Tell me Dr. Sunbeam, can you turn back the time?
Turn tears into rainbows, turn water into wine?
Turn down the blaring dream, the dream that always dies?
Turn me into someone that I can recognize?

Is it fact or fiction, is it magic or skill?
Does every affliction just bend to his will?

Hope is out the door,
But on a short leash.
Cuz I've been here before,
Carrot just out of reach. 

Shatter the Stigma

I’m singing to myself.    (No one to hold in my empty hands)
I’m screaming in my pillow. 
I’m hiding from “It was not meant to be.”  (No one I’ve told can understand)
And “You can try again, don’t you know?”

My voice is breaking.  (My voice can not break through) ((What do I do to make it through?))
My song isn’t sweet.
You can’t wrap it up in 3 minutes.  (I don’t begin to know what to do)
You can’t begin to dance to the beat.

If I sang it out,  (I can’t let it go)  ((Nobody’s home, I’m alone))
Would you be deaf to my tone?
So I shut the door,  (I’m here, on my own)
And sing it alone.

But what if we sing as one,
Reveal what’s inside us?
Shout out that there is no way we’ll dim
Our broken silence.

We’ll stand up and open the door,
And shatter the stigma.
We’ll make them see more 
Than just the blurry outlines of our figures.

We’ll walk together hand in hand
I’ll catch you when you fall.
And those who will have to walk our path
Will get strength from us all.

Just Good Enough


Dozing off at stoplights
Sprinting to the pickup
Don’t think that these socks match
The car still needs a fill-up

Hold the elevator
As late rolls into later
And there’s no end in sight to the queue.
I guess I’m destined 
To suck at nearly everything I do.

Hear hear! Let’s drink to the ones who can’t get it together.
One look at us and your mess is bound to look better.
Step over the clutter and wade through my ocean of stuff.
Let’s cast out perfection and learn to love just good enough.

Just good enough, (I’m getting to know how)
It’s enough (I’m letting it go now)
I’ve had enough (I’m ready to show how much better worse can feel) (I’m ready to
 throw out the unreachable ideal)

Crumbs are on the counter 
Burning the potatoes
Raking up the leaves 
In the midst of a tornado

So much for leaning in
Much more like tipping over
And it’s not a graceful fall.
Nothing gets done well when setting out to do it all.

Rips and Mends

We're closing up.
It's closing in around us,  
And we're hoping that 
The barricades surrounding us 
Will hold back
The blowback
Of our never ending taking, 
Drag our eyes into a waking, take a

Breath in, breath out,
Tune in, here now.
A breath drawn once more
Like none that have come before.
A death to the blur 
That rushed us to the 6th floor.

Day folds into night,
And I'm still for the first time.
Locked in so tight,
And I'm free for the first time.
Take shelter from the swirling madness -
Sickness that rips and mends.

The doom news 
Says there's no one to protect us 
When the fools choose
The fools to be elected.
Cry for freedom
To be dumb.
State the facts until we're weary. 
They're still clinging to the theories, need a 

Two Pieces of You

You must have been a lovely child
With silky hair and a boundless smile.
I can almost see you dancing,
So strong and free and wild,
You must have been a lovely child.

A sparkly joy to be around.
Turning somersaults on the ground.
I can almost hear you laughing​
Long before life let you down.
A sparkly joy to be around.

And I don't know how or why or when
The path that you took lost its way back again.
Now we can only know you through
These two pieces of you.

You must have been a loyal friend.
A silly heart with a level head.
I can almost see you standing
For the one no one will defend.
You must have been a loyal friend.

I wish someone would have been there for you
To see through the pain to the you that is true.
But I hope that you've found your way safely across
At peace at seeing these sweet pieces of you have not been lost.

And though I know we've never met,
I'm forever and ever in your debt.
As I get to know you through
These two incredible pieces of you.
​

The AstroTurf Effect

Fresh baked scones with cinnamon,
Daily workout regimen,
Life at locomotive pace,
And not a hair strand out of place.

And the black belted baby karate chops boards.
Even the dog is winning awards
Zoom in to me, and I'm looking away.
Full-time strength mustering just to bring close to the day.

And their white teeth gleaming, joyful beaming
Stars in a cast so perfect.
When the grass is that green, we might just be seeing
...The AstroTurf effect

Click through the scrapbook, a shimmering outlook,
A future and past so perfect.
Life found in dreaming, we might just be feeling
...The AstroTurf effect. 

This angle will never reveal
What's too good to be real.

Field trips, meal tips, take your pick,
Snappy comments, wit so quick.
Always time for dinner guests,
Karaoke, take requests.

Could it be maybe, I look the same way?
Parade of good moments, out on display.
Zoom it on in, let's let it all hang.
Divide up the spotlight between sunshine and rain.

Life through a viewfinder
Filtered with blue-blinder
Touch ups to rewind the time.
Smooth all the corners and we miss the point.
No wonder reality never fails to disappoint.

The Essence of You

We all believe that we're charting our own course 
Between heaven and hell.
When the truth is we're all just one hard hit away from 
Our own padded cell.

I never know just who's in front of me.
The skin is a clever disguise.
For a stranger who's coming and going
Behind your eyes.

But I'll hold you now,
And breathe in the essence of you.
I don't know how,
But somehow we will make it through.
I made a vow
The first time I stroked your soft hair.
And I'm not going anywhere.

The heart can't keep steady while neurons fire friendly 
At all who are near.
My voice cannot reach out to ears that are not yet
Dialed in to hear.

Leave it to you to teach me
We're all just slaves to the mind.
Leave it to you to lead me
To hang with one day at a time.

Cycling around,
Up becomes down.
Dancing on a bridge
That’s tumbling to the ground.
High to low,
More or less
Where we land
Is anybody’s guess.

Light Years Away

Today I walked a familiar road
With familiar folks and familiar dread.
But somehow my usually desolate path
Was lined with trees instead.

The trees were delicately spattered with 
Pink soap suds, soft to the skin
The rosy glow pushed back the gray we well know
And wrapped us from the outside in.

Stop and snap a picture
Capture the light of the day.
Today I know why I'm here.
Today we are light years away.

Stop and smell the blossoms
Casting a spell on the black and the blue
Or did the magic come from within
To bring the blossoms into view.

Today we swam in waters that 
Usually swim right over our heads.
But somehow today our weights fell away
And strokes synchronized instead.

The water was warm and gentle, and 
Its swimmers were gentle as well.
The golden sands held dry in our hands
Where waves would usually swell.

Must the extraordinary
Just be temporary?
Every day must come to an end.
And there are wounds one day cannot mend.
But if it can all come together I can pretend
That one day today could become a trend.

To Know You

You build, you fix,
Drop everything in an instant.
A stranger in a stalled car
Can count on you to pitch in.

Amazing mind,
Although your words are few.
I struggled to find mine
To reach out and connect with you.

But when I picked up the call,
And the screaming on the other end
Announced your fall,
The words unsaid,
They flooded my head.

You are exactly who you are.
I never have to guess.
Your strong arms lifting up,
Your strong mind working out the rest.
And I’m glad, so glad I have a chance to show you
How glad I am that I get to know you.
To know you.

Never a yes or a no.
Always “I guess” or “I suppose”.
To you to learn is like,
Always like riding a bike.

A gentle soul -
Even pulling weeds feels wrong.
Tears rarely flow,
But rained down when you heard my sad song.

And when I saw that mind
Looping back and forth in time,
I wondered, “Who’s gonna fix this?”
Cuz you’re the one who always fixes.
And step by tender step,
You began your greatest fix yet.

Numb

It could be any second, any day,
When you, your smile, and reason fly away.
When every move I make feeds a monster's fury,
"All trial leads to error" says the snap-judge jury.

So I shut my mouth,
And brace myself
To ride out the storm.

After years of practicing, I can swallow a flame,
Keep the words trapped bouncing back and forth in my brain.
You would think I'd feel the sting of my bitten tongue,
But from head to baby toe, I am numb.

How long can the waves avoid the shore?
How strong are bars on a prison door?
How much stuffing til the seams will tear?
Next time you return, will I be there?

So I shut my eyes,
And take a breath,
And ride out the storm.

After years of practicing, I can swallow a flame,
Keep the words trapped bouncing back and forth in my brain.
And the wall blocks both the thunder and the sun,
Cuz from head to baby toe, I am numb.

I am numb.
I am numb. 
Don't expect me to hear the music now,
I am numb.
I am numb. 
Don't expect me to smell the roses now,
I am numb.
I am numb. 
Don't expect me to taste the honey now,
I am numb.
I am numb. 
Don't expect me to see the rainbow now.
I am numb.

Labor

“The beautiful mama-to-be wanted s’mores...and of course,
What mommy wants...mommy gets!”
Well I didn’t ask for gram of gluten or dairy or sugar, and
I never get to get what mamas-to-be get.
He holds onto her hand, they cheer her on with every pain and every push

But no one’s there, no one cheers as my pains’ push spirals down in one cold, cold flush.

And I labor,
But the fruit doesn’t show.
Is there a way for
My brokenness to make anything grow?
Do me a favor,
And teach me to be blind
To the life that I can’t find,
No matter how hard that I try.

One final chance on the ice for 13 years,
Gives a tease, eggs me on, and for a second, I believe.
Then the quote jumps down my throat, about the folks that try the same thing over again,
Thinking this time will change, all they find is that they’re insane.

Pass the salt on this day where others gather to say what they’re thankful for, while I
Give birth to death, by myself, bloody mess on the cold, empty bathroom floor.

I pray the pains will end, then, who am I when this is the end?
Where’s the road for moving on?
To life with jagged bites sliced out of the middle of it.
Empty when the pains have gone.

All pain and no gain, “Hey there, how was your holiday?”
I could say, but I know no one wants to really know.
So I speak to the chords, the repeat to heal the sores
This old gloom clears a room, if I could, I’d be the first to go.

And the feed fills with ads for a girl with a baby on the way
Her smile attacks, blood fills the pads, the remnants pass, as I go about my day.

Wish you could stay forever.
Where do you go?
Running away to a better
Place than we know.
Maybe one day we’ll all get there,
Play out our days together.

Goodbye, goodbye my loves
It’s time, it’s time my loves
I tried I tried my loves
But it’s another goodbye.

Lucky

Teen spirit was haunting,
I was busy
Outrunning my skin.
Headed to the next road,
Which headed back
To the next one again.

Then you came along and turned
Racing rats to guinea pigs.
Rolling down the grass hills,
Toes tapping out Irish jigs.

And some say
You were so lucky 
To graft to my tree.
But all along I’ve known
It was you that brought the light back to me.

It was just you and me,
And seven ducklings,
And a 12-inch TV.
Two dots slaying dragons
Upon the brown couch
Of 942 B.

A tiny space was never so grand.
We ran hand in hand from park to school.
My little girl with the curls
Turned every stone to a heart, free and full.

And some say
You were so lucky 
To graft to my tree.
But all along I’ve known
It was you breathing life into me.

So many times
I lost my mind
You forgave all my faults and found the best in me.
And now you stand,
Flowers in your hands, 
So strong, holding on to what you’re meant to be.

Some days
The sun can fade and 
Lie low for a while.
But when I look at how you’ve grown,
All that I can do is smile.
Yeah when I look at how you’ve grown,
All that I can do is smile.